So, the first week has come and went. I can’t say it went quickly. We have just started the second week of school and I already feel stressed. I had my first exam of the semester already. I passed but, there are just too many things going on this week. I cannot wait for this week to be over. I’m starting to feel the suffocation of stress and anxiety already especially since I have my practicuum tomorrow. Once that is over I will feel way better. I always have such a fear and anxiety of failure along with the fear of being tested by a figure of authority on a hands on skill. I think that’s part of the reason I still do not drive along with other reasons.
Anyways, it feels like its been forever since I last wrote anything. My life doesn’t really have the structure that I want it to have at the moment. I probably feel that way because I haven’t been working out since I got back and I also didn’t even make an effort to study today or do anything productive. I just felt drained and tired today. But, I also flew back in from Miami last night (1:30 am) to wake up for at 6:30am for my morning exam. I am a seven and a half to eight hours a night of sleep type of girl so, I definitely was not on my regular. Plus I felt like I knew nothing for the exam which was a false sentiment because I passed the exam with flying colors. All that stress for no reason can tire a girl out.
Then, I had Naloxone training which is a great thing to be educated in with the Opioid epidemic going on but, I was tired. I was definitely questioning my sanity when I signed up for it. I didn’t realize the day and time I signed up for until I got my confirmation email but, I did it and it wasn’t so bad. The extra hours of not relaxing didn’t kill me for now. I just need to figure out how to get a grip on my life before I have a mental breakdown. You know it’s not going well when you feel guilty about resting even when your tired. I need to structure my rest into my schedule so I don’t feel so guilty. I also would like to get my workouts on track but, I don’t know how I want to structure them.
I am still debating about workout times, whether I want to go to the gym or not. I went on the first day of school and I didn’t find my workout as challenging as it was when I was doing home workouts this summer. Do I even have time right now. Maybe, I’ll have time starting next week when my schedule clears up some. I just need to adjust. I will probably have to limit my workout days and time spent working out. It was nice having unlimited time during the summer. Now, I actually have to be organized and deliberate with my time because I have so much to do. I’ll let you all know what I decide to do when I figure it out. For now, I don’t know.
Thanks for Reading My Rant,