Honestly, I feel so unmotivated to study right now. There are so many things I would like to do other than study for this exam. The professors teaching these portions right now are just so… boring. Well, not all of them. I definitely have an “-itis” right now. I would rather be reading something for fun, binge-watching something on Netflix or, shopping if my budget allowed for that. I’ll settle for window-shopping too.
I just feel like I am so close yet, so far away. I’m in my third year of pharmacy school, the last didactic year before rotations. I can taste freedom and free weekends again where I don’t have to worry about studying. An exam every Monday definitely takes a toll on a person. Sometimes, I just have to go brain-dead for a whole day so I can re-motivate myself but, that doesn’t always work.
I’m unmotivated for school but, I’m definitely on a roll for blogging today. I wrote two decent length posts, spell checked and edited all my post settings from my most recent blogs to make them more accurate. Maybe, I’m procrastinating because I just don’t know what the hell to study or how to study right now. Maybe I’m intimidated by the amount I need to study. Who knows? As of now, I’m really just trying to get through the semester one day at a time.
I’m kind of sleepy now and I’m debating showing up for class tomorrow. We’ll see how I feel in the morning. I can definitely be more productive on my own. I’ll probably read the textbook since that seems to be more helpful to me lately. I’ll probably look up some videos on YouTube to give me a simplified version of what I need before I dive in deep into the subjects. I need a foundation before I start to build knowledge. I’m saying this now but, who knows what will happen tomorrow when I wake up. Hopefully, it is a productive day. There is only so much time before my exam plus I have Saturday obligations too. I feel like I’ve been jaded by life. I was so motivated during the P1 year. I had a study schedule with a break and everything. But, then again, it also went hand in hand with my controlling perfectionism that held my disorderly eating habits. Maybe, I went a little too far there.
So, yeah, whatever happened to my motivation and organization? How can I get it back? I’m just tired of studying sometimes but, we’ve only been back for not even a month. Pharmacy school always feels fast and slow at the same time. I feel like I’ve been in school for 20 years but, at the same time, I feel like I just started. It’s probably because I’ve taken so many exams already. On a regular, non-hybrid schedule, we would have probably just taken our first exam. We are about to be on exam 3. We are practically done with Musculoskeletal Disorders.
Anyways, thanks for listening to my rant,